He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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