And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
