i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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