last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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