used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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