Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am available for nakedness
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
