my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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