If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
