apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
