and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
