so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I need water and some morals
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
