She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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