He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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