Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize