She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
