More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
