sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's blow job season.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
