he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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