two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
