i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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