he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is wine microwaveable?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
