It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
