I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
