Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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