i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize