Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
