my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
