Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
