Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize