they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
