Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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