i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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