went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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