I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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