redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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