her vagine was all disorganized.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
