let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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