You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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