Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We were destined to go to rehab together
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
