I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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