And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
