Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
