I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
