There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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