1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize