Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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