So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
