i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize