I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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