Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
