Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
