if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
