He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
