Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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