we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
