Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
