whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
