I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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