So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
