i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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