i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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