Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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