you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
