I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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