Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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