Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
